For a moment, the coroaki looks absolutely flowered. He glances at the board, taking in all the information there as if maybe, just maybe, something about it was unclear or maybe just too flabbergasted at you so boldly clueless. "You...don't know the swampsquach?" He doesn't need to say that he must wonder how long you've been on Shantyland. "It's a swampsquach." Ah, it has all become much more clear you want to say to him. If you were a little more clear on hierarchy in Rangers, you just might have.

Sensing your distress, or just wanting to move the conversation along, the goblin rolls her eyes and waves a hand. "It's a great big monster," she tells you with all the blasé air of, yes, you probably should have known about this. "It lives in the swamp and rumor has that it can heal those that are sick." She leans back, no care in the world. "But I guess you gotta give it something in return and it isn't always something nice that it wants."

The eyeless, faceless alien somehow manages to look disgruntled, you think, at the words. "It is not," she insists, "It's an alien just like the rest of us." The goblin looks like she ate a lemon at the idea of being "the rest of us". "It was the victim of a crash landing and now it lives in the forests. It must be very lonely out there if none of its kind is here with it." It does sound pretty sad to you, you can quite imagine being fully alone like that.

The coroaki claps his hands, trying to regain the attention. "These are just a few rumors surrounding the swampsquach. Looking at the facts, the creature is very big and looks a little bit like seaweeds." He pushes a picture in front of you – you can sort of see the seaweeds, but the picture is very blurry. That's mildly confusing on the grounds that you know the Ranger program has some of the best photography around. "It's eluded people for many years now, but we're Rangers. We have the best equipment and the best chance of finding out the truth of the swampsquach!" He looks wildly pleased with himself.

"And if it's a hoax?" you find yourself asking. The pictures are quite blurry and this is the first time you've really ever heard of a swampsquach.

That makes the coroaki frown at you, not quite a sullen look but pretty close. "It's not. I know it's real and we're going to find it."

Well, you had nothing else going on today.

You know, you really had other plans going on.